On Misogyny 4/11/18

I have had a lot of relationships with men who were quite a number of years older than I. This dynamic operated in those relationships. We are not born knowing how these things operate (especially those of us who are also "damaged" in some way). Serving as a placater, a projection object, and a receptacle of abuse may, if fact, be all we have ever known. Sadly, it may feel completely normal. It has taken me many years to understand the function of misogyny in my own life and the way it has shaped my experiences, opportunities, and, often, lack of opportunities. Until I was well into my forties, I might have said that I did not need feminism because my choices were my own and I lived my life according to my own desires. While I consider still that this is true to an extent, as I said, the function of misogyny in my world has become so much more apparent. And example: I was speaking recently to a long-time acquaintance about a man who was my boss in my 20's and 30's. For many years, I had said that this man treated me well and did not treat me badly because I am a woman. What I am able to notice in retrospect, though, is that although he treated me well in interpersonal interactions, he materially advanced the careers of at least three men I can think of who were not half as smart or talented than I. Did he actively sabotage me? Not really. Did he fail to provide me with the support that might have carried me out of roles that increased my socioeconomic servitude and overall distress (which he provided to men who were not as qualified)? Absolutely. A greater level of professional support and socioeconomic independence at that point in my life may have even let me avoid the contact with psychiatry that eventually ruined mostly all of my prospects. So, yeah, it's a long game. And, it is complicated.